I clearly remember what my Values Education teacher told us way back in high school, “Love shouldn’t change you nor should you change someone because you love them,” and ever since, I had this clear concept about this paradox that we call “Love” and that is, we fall in love with people because that’s who they are, not because they’re that and we want to change them for our liking, so, we’ll use love as a defense against our selfish actions.
Books and movies taught us that love is composed of laughter, sweet moments, butterflies, cuddles, a pinch of pain, and of course happy endings with all the people around us smiling because we’re so in love with someone. But in reality, love isn’t all that, and being in love most certainly doesn’t make everyone around you happy. But what if the cause of unhappiness of the people around you is you, yourself?
Who’s to blame? Their wide-eyes looking at your new-found identity or your blind discernment?
Maybe you’d accuse them of overlooking your feelings and not understanding your disposition. But do they really not understand you when you weren’t like what you are now before you were in love? Are they really overlooking your feelings when you were nice and sweet before you were in love and now you’re just a total asshole?
Love isn’t supposed to corrupt you into being an ass to the people around you. Love isn’t like that. Love is blind, but love isn’t supposed to blind you from the reality that it has changed you for the worst.
You have been a different you in ways unimaginable since you were always the nice, quiet, and humble person that everyone is fond of, but now? You have lost yourself while loving someone else. Is that good? Does that make you a passionate lover? No. That makes you a person that’s been so intoxicated by the wrong kind of love.
Intoxicated to the point that you have let your lover manipulate you in ways that will probably lead to you losing your long-time friends, and for what? So that you can prove to her that you love her? So that you can show her how willing you are? Willing to cut ties with the people that has been there for you even before you have crossed paths with her?
I hate to break it to you, buddy, but you have crossed a very thin line between being a faithful lover to being a puppet of your lover.
Why puppet, you may ask, you see as humans we will always have this urge to do crazy things for the ones we love and the trait to be always there at their disposal. We often mistake these things as acts of love, when in reality we are being used as a puppet for their selfish desires. We are so drawn into them that we completely tune out other people’s opinion about us, when they’re just really pointing out the things that they think are making us not us anymore.
So, what do you do when reality finally hits you, if it ever hits you, and you have seen the aftermath of all your actions? You collect the lost pieces of you and you leave. Leave before you lose everything else other than your cancerous kind of love. Because once you have lost everything, some things might return but it will never be the same. Ever. Again.